17 Weird (and Hilarious) American Laws You Probably Didn’t Know About
When you think about it, no country is more diverse than the United States, so it’s no surprise that its legal landscape is decorated with funny and downright silly laws.
Although nowadays some of these laws make perfect sense, in that they did exist in past days, others stand like relics of the past, making us scratch our heads and burst into laughter at their absurdity. Here are 17 bizarre American laws that are still valid today.
Alabama’s Church Comedy Ban
In Alabama, it’s illegal to wear a false mustache in church that makes people laugh. This strange law seems to have been meant to maintain decorum in houses of worship, so we can only speculate about what spurred such particular legislation. It may be a series of mustached pranksters who broke up Sunday services one too many times.
A National Anthem Boogie from Massachusetts
Patriotism is earnest in Massachusetts, so it’s even illegal to dance to “The Star Spangled Banner.” The national anthem is to be played as a composition, and any jiving could get you in hot water—or a fine.
Minnesota’s Santa Claus Rule
In Minnesota, women can be imprisoned for 30 days for pretending to be Santa Claus. It is also an attempt to keep the magic and mystery of Santa in place, so only the ‘authorized‘ bringer of Christmas cheer shall make his or her appearance.
Gargle Prohibition of Louisiana
In Louisiana, gargling in any public place is against the law. This regulation is primarily an effort to crack down on disorderly conduct, but it does raise questions about what and why public gargling became the concern of legislators.
Butter Impostor in Iowa
Real butter is so important to Iowa that it makes it a misdemeanor to sell margarine as such. You can be fined up to $625 and go to 30 days in jail. This law underscores the Midwestern commitment to real, high-quality butter.
Surprise Pizza in Louisiana
Avoid sending a surprise pizza in Louisiana. It’s considered harassment and will cost you $500. This law may have been passed to protect recipients from unsolicited delivery (and perhaps unfancied pleasantries).
The Pie Law in Memphis, Tennessee
In Memphis, taking unfinished pie home from a restaurant is illegal. It must be eaten on the premises. This bureaucratic regulation was likely devised to encourage pie sales, as patrons ate every last spoonful at the establishment.
Alaska’s Moose Mischief
It’s illegal to serve alcohol to a moose in Fairbanks, Alaska. This law sounds absurd, but it almost defies reason. The only reason is that these were attempts to prevent animal cruelty and protect the moose and humans.
Arizona’s Bathtub Nap
Donkeys in Arizona aren’t allowed to sleep in bathtubs. The statute, when enacted, was peculiar—a result of a local dam that had broken and, after, flooded a rancher’s property and carried his donkey’s bathtub miles downriver. But the town wanted to end any more bathtub slumber disasters.
Oklahoma’s Bear Wrestling Ban
Bear wrestling in Oklahoma is banned because it is unsafe for the wrestlers, and bears suffer severe injury. The laws are a commitment to animal welfare and preventing inhumane entertainment.
Kentucky’s Marriage Limit
Women in Kentucky can only marry the same man three times or less. The state’s history of favoring marriage fidelity is reflected in this magic number, but exactly why the magic number is three remains unclear.
Vermont’s Denture Dilemma
Vermont law requires a woman to gain the written consent of her husband before she is afforded false teeth. This archaic phrase marks a time when the law wondered who should guard women’s medical decisions—male guardianship.
Feathered Friends First in Utah
Birds have the right of way on highways in Utah statewide. This law is charming, though we imagine it was implemented to help protect the local avian population from vehicular damage so they could cross the roads safely.
Backward Driving in Glendale, Arizona
Glendale, Arizona, prohibits reverse driving in a vehicle. While it sounds peculiar, this regulation likely aims to enhance road safety by preventing reckless maneuvering on busy streets.
Delaware’s Dog Hair Ban
According to FindLaw, selling dog hair is illegal in Delaware. This unusual law was legislated to keep public health standards, but a doggie lock shop is a stretch.
Hawaii’s Coin Trickery
Placing coins in your ear is illegal in Hawaii. One could argue that this law was created to protect the state’s unique coinage, an act that could be a trick or damage currency.
Bouncing Pickles from Connecticut
In Connecticut, a pickle can only be legitimate if it bounces. It all started in 1948 when two men were caught selling pickles that didn’t meet bounce standards, and only quality pickles would make it to market.
Odd as these strange laws are and frequently puzzling, they provide a lesson in the oddness of American legislative history. They are rare now but are still on the books as a remnant of the myriad cultural and historical influences shaping the American legal system. If the laws mentioned here have piqued your interest, share your reaction in the comments. What funny legal tidbits have you come across? Share this post with friends and family who love laughing at our nation’s peculiar past, so we keep the conversation going.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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