Avoid These 15 Restaurant Etiquette Mistakes—Or Risk Raising Eyebrows
“Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.” – Clarence Thomas.
Dining out is about more than enjoying great food—it’s a social event in which your behavior leaves a lasting impression on everyone: family, friends, or colleagues.
Lightspeed Commerce Inc. reported that up to 39% of Americans eat out at least once a week, and as many as 81% eat out at least once a month. Poor etiquette can ruin your outing and can begin to tarnish your reputation. Luckily, by doing these 15 things, you’ll be good to go.
Starting to Eat Before Everyone is Served
Starting your meal before everybody has theirs can be perceived as impatient and not much of thinking. It’s not as much of an etiquette slip as it is a disruption to the flow of a meal, and it just generally makes people feel bad.
Make sure everyone gets a bite before you start eating. Even when someone’s meal is delayed, it’s okay to acknowledge that; when applicable, they may invite you to continue.
Ignoring the Dress Code
Turning up (too) underdressed (or overdressed) is disrespectful towards the establishment and your dining companions. This is especially egregious for fine dining establishments.
For example, check the restaurant’s dress code on its website in advance or call to inquire. If you’re unsure what to wear, formal attire is the way to go: it’s better to be a little too dressy than underdressed.
Ordering Excessively
If you order too much, you will seem inconsiderate, especially if someone else is paying. Overordering also leads to food waste, which is costly and unsustainable.
Order according to portion size, your hunger, and whether you have room for dessert. If you’re unsure about portion sizes, don’t be embarrassed to ask your server.
Not Following Basic Manners
Chewing with your mouth open, speaking while eating, and putting elbows on the Table make people uncomfortable. An etiquette study by Emily Post found that diners were surprisingly annoyed when people behaved that way, with 53 percent saying it made them feel like ‘screaming’ at them.
Before going out, review the basics of dining etiquette. Proper posture, use of the correct utensils, and appropriate chewing habits are all simple ways to leave a good impression.
Using Your Phone at the Table
Staring at your phone during a meal is one of the few actions that annoy your dining companions the most. It makes others feel unimportant and disrupts the communal experience.
Could you turn your phone off and put it away? If you are too busy at the start of the meal, tell your company that you are expecting an urgent call and excuse yourself if you need to step away.
Reaching Across the Table
Reaching and extending your arm across the table to get the salt or grab a bread roll is not only awkward but also disrespectful.
Ask the person next to the item politely to pass it to you. A simple, “Could you please pass the bread?” will suffice.
Making Special Requests Thoughtlessly
It’s OK to ask for a change to one of your meals, but being too demanding can be rude to the kitchen staff and everyone else’s time.
Make reasonable requests and say them politely. For example, asking for “no peanuts, please” due to an allergy is necessary, but asking for an entirely customized meal at a busy restaurant may not be.
Failing to Acknowledge Service
Ignoring servers’ efforts doesn’t seem very nice. Always acknowledge your server with courteous “please” and “thank you.” Respect comes when someone makes eye contact and shows appreciation.
Overstaying Your Welcome
Enjoying an extended dining experience is fun, but staying too long after you’ve finished dining keeps the staff waiting and disrupts the next group of diners.
Check the table’s cues. If the plates are cleared and nothing else is coming up, it may be time to wrap up. To continue the conversation, move to a nearby cafe or bar.
Not Tipping Appropriately
In the US and many places worldwide, not tipping or poor tipping hurts more than just your server.
The standard amount to tip is 15-20 percent of the bill. Don’t feel bad for tipping a little extra for exceptional service.
Conversing Too Loudly
Few things are more disconcerting than an entire table of people hollering across it, drowning out the surroundings, including other tables’ conversations.
Pay attention to the noise level at your table. Be loud enough to hear yourself speak but not so loud that you cry into your neighbors’ ears. Your conversational volume will change to match the energy of the restaurant.
Sending Food Back Without Consideration
Addressing concerns with your meal is perfectly valid, but sending food back unnecessarily or being rude about it will unnecessarily add a bit of tension.
Tact your food issues. “Just say ‘I’m sorry but this looks a little undercooked, is it possible to get it cooked more?'” The favor of politeness is usually yielded.
Not Making a Reservation When Necessary
Skipping a reservation at busy restaurants can frustrate the staff and fellow diners. Without making plans, you can’t expect to get a table at peak times.
When dining at fine dining spots, always make a reservation, especially at busy times. Inform the restaurant if plans change so they won’t hold a table you don’t need.
Pushing Your Plate Away When Finished
Pushing your plate away or saying you’ve had enough may seem harmless, but it’s usually considered bad manners.
If your knife and fork are placed parallel across your plate, it indicates you’re done. This universally acknowledged sign notifies the server without too many gestures.
Forgetting to Thank the Host
When you receive an invitation to dine with a host (be it paid or business) and do not show gratitude, it is not a good look.
If you are leaving, take a moment to thank your host for their hospitality. Follow up with a text or email expressing your gratitude.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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