15 Sneaky Gaslighting Phrases That Diminish Your Feelings
Do you ever leave a conversation wondering about your emotions or the reality of your experience? One of the sneaky ways that psyche manipulation takes place is through gaslighting, which largely relies on subtle language. Secondarily, it leaves you second-guessing reality. You lose all your confidence and self-worth.
Recognizing gaslighting phrases is essential because they are part of familiar manipulative behavior. We need to identify and understand them to recognize them and regain our emotional well-being. Find out some of the most common gaslighting phrases to watch out for here so you can protect yourself.
“You’re overreacting”
This phrase invalidates your feelings by making you doubt how deeply an emotion has touched you.
“This is dismissal of your feelings, and it’s making you less likely to talk about the real issue that’s going on, which may be something bigger,” says Dr. Stephanie S., a psychotherapist and author of Gaslighting.
“You’re imagining things.”
Someone tells you they don’t believe what you see is real. Gaslighters accomplish this by making you feel like you aren’t in tune with your ability to discern and understand what’s occurring around you.
“I was just joking; you’re too sensitive.”
A gaslighter will turn hurtful remarks into jokes and make it your fault for being upset. According to data from a 2019 study on emotional manipulation, this type of behavior leads to considerable emotional damage over time because people lose the line between humor and harm.
“You’re the only one who feels that way.”
This phrase isolates you, using a herd mentality to alienate you from your feelings. Experts often say isolation means you can’t control your emotions.
“I never said that.”
Gaslighting is a classic tactic that involves denying earlier statements. This phrase creates unneeded uncertainties.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline reports that deliberate denials are one of the hallmarks of gaslighting in communication.
“You’re making it a bigger deal than it is.”
By minimizing the importance of concerns, you are putting yourself on the defensive to brush off emotions. This tactic also takes the blame and makes it harder for us to hold accountable the person and topic at hand.
“You’re too emotional.”
Criticizing someone for being “too emotional” weaponizes vulnerability. Calling emotional responses a weakness gives the manipulator the power to manipulate. This emotional response is natural.
“Nobody else would put up with you.”
Such language hurts, but it’s also calculated. It reduces your self-esteem and tells you that you’re inherently unable to break free from this relationship without outside help, making you feel dependent.
“You’re being dramatic.”
When you accuse someone of being overly dramatic, you’re accusing them of being too serious or taking their concerns – that are [in reality] valid to have – as being exaggerated and invalid. It trivializes the emotional importance of the conversation and silences rhetorical dialogue.
“You always twist things.”
Accusations like this sidestep the gaslighter onto the victim, blaming the victim for being manipulative. They can degrade your self-assurance in saying the startling truth or battling for yourself.
“Calm down, you’re acting crazy.”
Labeling someone as “crazy” or irrational discourages them from expressing their emotions. A famous phrase the victim is often told, echoed throughout modern psychology studies, is that this phrase creates self-doubt. Moreover, it drives the victim to silence valid concerns in a desperate eagerness to avoid the label altogether.
“That never happened.”
Denying the events happening right before you destroy your trust in your memory. Constant exposure to this tactic can lead to cognitive dissonance, confusing what you remember with the manipulator’s narrative.
“You’re just trying to start a fight.”
Many gaslighters use this kind of phrase to end a meaningful discussion. It makes you look like the bad guy, confrontational, or unreasonable when trying to find a solution.
“Everyone agrees with me.”
Groupthink pressure is implied in presenting a side to conform to or second guess your position. Gaslighters invoke unnamed supporters to lash you with the whip of false unanimity and further isolate you.
“You’re so insecure, that’s the real problem.”
Placing blame for the problems on your supposed weaknesses focuses the setting upon the manipulator’s behavior.
The gaslighter turns your reasonable question into your failing, one that erodes your self-worth and props up dependence.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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